Sweat and Squeeze

25 March, 2023 | Valparaíso, Chile

Valparaíso (or Valpo for short) is the nearest port city to Santiago and, for a time, exceeded it in growth and importance. Once known as “Little San Francisco”, there is an argument to be made the city was the biggest loser from the development of the Panama Canal - besides the insane number of workers who died digging it - which reduced Valpo’s prominence as a key stopover point for cross-ocean trade. Now it is merely the second largest city and one of the most beautiful on the continent.

Spurred on by mutual independent acclaim by both my business partner/boss and life partner/best friend, I resolved to spend a night and day there. The latter described the bus service in glowing terms - comfort, wifi, and (most critically) air conditioning.

It was in the low 90s on the 25th. I was overheated getting to the station from the city bus, and finding the correct platform in that sprawling complex did me no favors on that front. Finally getting to my seat, I turn on the air and

Nothing. Or rather, warm air. I couldn’t tell whether this particular bus was broken or this whole thing was a scam, but there was no wifi either. Pouring sweat, I obliterated my water bottle and probably lost five pounds on the trek.

While on the bus, I used my data plan to determine if I had just made a mistake on the kind of bus I took. The results of using their website were less than encouraging.

When I was able to escape the bus and purchase/rapidly down a bottle of cold water, I was treated to a truly lovely city.

Further, I had stumbled upon a lovely actual bread and breakfast on AirBnB (the novelty!) right in the heart of the most pleasant area.

As it turns out, according to the proprietors, the busses are simply hit-and-miss; some have working air conditioning and others do not. The alternative is a $100 rideshare, that I think I would have paid for a half-hour into the ordeal. Hell, I would have given George Bluth $30k for a glass of lemonade at the hour mark.